Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Hey, I KNOW HER!!!


OK, so having satisfied my "one post every fifteen months" quota, I was more than content to sit on ass the rest of my day, and then what does Yahoo!News do, but throw this shit-shaped pile of gold in my lap. For those who can't read / don't care, it's a story about Paris Hilton, featuring an illustrative photo (and no mention whatsoever) of Lindsay Lohan.

As if it's not bad enough that I actually know who these two women are, and can differentiate them by headshot alone (although the oft-included inset photos of their respective drugs of choice always help), I can now actually do so more competently than a group of people who are PAID to be knowledgable on the lives of these and other vacuous bitches. It's a proud sort of shame. I've seen my future, and I'm doing unpaid research for unauthorized biographer Kitty Kelly. Right now (in the future) I'm investigating the legitimacy of a supposed incestuous love trapezoid / four-way orgy between George Bush, George W. Bush, George Takei, and Barabara Bush. You'll never guess who was the top in THAT scenario! TRUST ME.

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