ME: Just a coffee.
WAITER: Would you like an espresso, cappuccino, latte?
ME: Just a coffee.
WAITER: And would you like a regular coffee an or iced coffee?
ME: Just a coffee.
MORAL OF THE STORY : I MIGHT BE A DICK, BUT SALESMEN ARE DUMMIES.
also:
I saw a lovely couple on the subway today, they were white, toothless, mid 50's and also they were VERY OBVIOUSLY junkies. Taking that into consideration, I laughed A LOT when I heard 'mrs. junkie' say:
"UGH! WHY DID YOU GET SPRITE!? I CAN'T DRINK THIS!"
Finally proving my theory, 'aging junkies looking back on their days of boozing and killing spend their days eating garbage and still think Sprite is an inferior soft drink experience.'
LASTLY, here's a picture of me being mauled by a very nice dog:
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