Wednesday, February 28, 2007


Someone posted this:

on Kevin Bewersdorf's myspace, and I felt I should spread the word. Keep Clean! Does anyone know how to contact this guy? I would like to have him showering on a future episode of Instant Talk.

-Nick Scoullar

Tuesday, February 20, 2007


Allen Cordell:

just sent this trailer to me in one of those, "you bored? Check this out" emails. Being the sourpus that I can be, I must say, it doesn't look UNfunny, but here's a question: Do they just shoot trailers for movies like this now to see if they want to do the whole movie? This seems to be a scene improv-ed soley to generate hype.


- Nick Scoullar

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Imagine Hiccuping FOREVER

Look at that girl. She's fifteen years old. Doesn't she look exhausted? Well she's been hiccuping for three weeks straight and she's worried she's never going to stop. Her name is Jennifer Mee, she lives in St. Petersburg, and she has tried every known home remedy there is. None of them have worked. I feel sorry for her. She must literally be going insane. I know I would.

At 50 times a minute these incessant hiccups, according to Jennifer's mother, Rachel Robidoux, sound like the barks of a chihuahua. It started on Janurary 23rd and apparently Jennifer is so depressed she's considered jumping off the Sunshine Skyway to make them stop. I don't blame her. She hasn't gone back to school since it started and is now home tutored. Apparently the hiccuping is too much to handle. And her chest and hips hurt from the constant spasming.

The longest case on record lasted 69 years. What would you do if this happened to you?

I'll be following the case of Jennifer Mee, hoping they find a cure for her.

Friday, February 16, 2007

REVIEW: Apples in Stereo at Bowery Ballroom 2.15.07

Yesterday was very exciting indeed! I had not been to Bowery Ballroom in a couple of years, and heading down there reminded me of all the times I had to lie or show a fake ID to get in there in the old days. We arrived at the venue around 10pm, the whole Mottley Crue of us.(I actually mean we were the band from the 80s, I am not implying we were in any way rag or tag. ) Robert and the Apples gang took the stage and were really tight. The harmonies and rhythm parts were all there. People danced and smiled. I looked everywhere for Elijah Wood, because I owe him $8 dollars. I wish I could name drop people without sounding like a scoundrel. Anyway, a good time was had by all! Here are some pics from the event:

-Nick Scoullar

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Teresa Tuesday (Part 2)

It's Thursday again, so naturally Teresa Tuesday. Teleport her back to me, I miss her. Trans-canopy denture, you know what I mean?

Sweet Nothings

Hey Gang,

Get out your safari hats and your elephant guns, cause we've got a little Instant Diversion in store for our devoted viewers -

Instant Scavenger Hunt!!!1

A few weeks back, we took a trip to some local supermarkets in downtown New York, scouring the aisles for funny foodstuffs to use in a few of our segments. After hitting four or so stores, we managed to find every item on our shopping list, except for a certain well-known breakfast cereal, which features sugar-coated bits shaped like the letters of the alphabet. Strange. After hitting every supermarket in the vicinity, and even a few bodegas, with no alphanumeric treats to be found, our curiousity had piqued; we wanted to know where our crunchy little letters had disappeared to. A visit to the manufacturer's website didn't help to confirm or deny that the cereal had disappeared without notice; despite a few references to the stuff scattered throughout the website, our cereal was conspicuously missing from the online list of the company's products.

Had cases of cereal bound for New York mysteriously "fallen off of the back of a truck," and into the laps of black-market cereal purveyors? Was it a case of circumstantial human error that had come between us and breakfast-y bliss? Or had the company decided to snub the literate cereal-eating community, diverting the alotted starches and sugars instead to the manufacturing plant for Video Game: The Cereal?

Conspiracy theories aside, WE WANT TO KNOW!! (seriously. we can dwell on stuff like this for months.) If you have any information on the condition of the confection in question, let us know. Is it just us, or has this cereal just fucking vanished? Photos of you enjoying the cereal and/or displaying your command of the English language through its use are a bonus, and we will post any images we feel fairly certain won't get us sued. Happy hunting!!!


New Episode This Week

Check out our newest episode with Robert Schneider from the APPLES IN STEREO
coinciding with the release of their newest album NEW MAGNETIC WONDER (natch')
by newly minted record mogul ELIJAH WOOD (also featured on ITS this week). And who
said we don't line up planets for a living. Enjoy.

PS>we're all going to see the Apples at the Bowery Ballroom tonight. Full report to follow.


Thursday, February 8, 2007

Teresa Tuesday

Did Teresa last night. same thing. tuesday. 15 years. yumsner.
chickenmeal fill you up good good. double helping heatloaf. too much noodles.
film talk. up to the dome. death lays an egg. bye bye. fragrant taxi. home.


I will NEVER get to talk to her now.


Sunday, February 4, 2007

Grampa Nick's Ramen Recepie

I never thought I would be at a place in my life where I would have a special recepie for Ramen, but here we are none the less! I've really come upon something here, and I'd like to share it with you.


Get one package of simple ramen at your local discount store. Not the cup of noodles kind, just the noodles in a pack, they should be about five for a dollar. Don't you hate it when you go into stores and everyone is asking you why you look so sad!?


Boil two cups of water in a small pot. No salt is necesary as most ramen flavors are already super salty. (We'll add some salt later.) Yesterday I was in American Eagle Outfitter's in fact, and the lady there asked me why I looked so sad. I said, "Oh, I'm just sort of a sad guy" she said, "why?" and I said "oh..its sort of out of your scope."


Here's the fun part! Take your soup bowl(a bigger one if you've got it.) and throw a handfull of corn or any veggie you like in it. Put the bowl in the microwave for 1 minute. Add your noodles to the boiling water. I'm really not sure what was more embarassing about that. The fact that she asked why I was so sad, or how condesending my response was, or the fact that I was shopping at American Eagle Outfitters.


Remove the bowl from the microwave(your noodles are almost ready!) and add 2 tablespoons of speghetti sauce. You can use any kind, I like herb flavored ragu. I mean, what was I supposed to tell "SARAH" the sales lady? That I was in a bad mood because a group of those "DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE FOR THE ENVIRONMENT" People ganged up on me on 14th street and I ended up shoving one of them who stood in front of me who was A GIRL and I feel bad about it but WORSE about the fact that I'm so upset about being advertised to at all times of the day that I DON'T entirely feel bad about it!?


Remove your noodles from the flame, do not drain, and do not add the flavor packet(it's easier to clean this way). Instead, add the noodles and water straight into your bowl. Stir it up "real good" with your spoon, and add the flavor packet, and, to your liking, salt, pepper, garlic powder. and dill.


Sit down at the table, inhale that lovely smell, and try to forget about all your bourgeois urbanite troubles. They really aren't such a big deal in the grand scheme of things. When it comes down to it, life is just a bowl of noodles. It's all in how you enjoy it.

-Nick Scoullar