Hey Gang,
Get out your safari hats and your elephant guns, cause we've got a little Instant Diversion in store for our devoted viewers -
Instant Scavenger Hunt!!!1
A few weeks back, we took a trip to some local supermarkets in downtown New York, scouring the aisles for funny foodstuffs to use in a few of our segments. After hitting four or so stores, we managed to find every item on our shopping list, except for a certain well-known breakfast cereal, which features sugar-coated bits shaped like the letters of the alphabet. Strange. After hitting every supermarket in the vicinity, and even a few bodegas, with no alphanumeric treats to be found, our curiousity had piqued; we wanted to know where our crunchy little letters had disappeared to. A visit to the manufacturer's website didn't help to confirm or deny that the cereal had disappeared without notice; despite a few references to the stuff scattered throughout the website, our cereal was conspicuously missing from the online list of the company's products.
Had cases of cereal bound for New York mysteriously "fallen off of the back of a truck," and into the laps of black-market cereal purveyors? Was it a case of circumstantial human error that had come between us and breakfast-y bliss? Or had the company decided to snub the literate cereal-eating community, diverting the alotted starches and sugars instead to the manufacturing plant for Video Game: The Cereal?
Conspiracy theories aside, WE WANT TO KNOW!! (seriously. we can dwell on stuff like this for months.) If you have any information on the condition of the confection in question, let us know. Is it just us, or has this cereal just fucking vanished? Photos of you enjoying the cereal and/or displaying your command of the English language through its use are a bonus, and we will post any images we feel fairly certain won't get us sued. Happy hunting!!!
THE INSTANT TALK SHOW BREAKFAST CREW
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4 comments:
Whoa, OK, info update:
On Wikipedia they have a link to an Alphabits site, which IS in fact a part of the company website...
Except the cereal they have is free of sugar and sweetners.
The plot thickens. Irregardless (it IS a word), we have yet to see any real-world substantiation of this wiki-fact. Sweet or no sweet, where the fuck are our Alphabits?!?!?!
I just had some alpha bits a week ago and they were out fuckin rageous. Don't believe this propaganda. I walked outside and bought three boxes of alpha bits from a homeless lady on the street - that's how goddamn easy it was to find alpha bits. I even looked down at the crack between the subway platform and the subway and i could see a Q and a Z and an L from a bowl of alpha bits sitting on the tracks next to a servered rat tail - alpha bits are everywhere my friend - don't believe the hype
Does this really look like something you want to ingest? It looks like Satan himself brewed these in his bowels.
http://www.megacity.org/mirrored_stuff/alphabits.jpg
if I was koo koo for cocoa puffs then I guess I would be (fill in blank) for Alpha Bits:
1) awful
2) mal-phoo
3) astral projecting
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