Actual conversations from this week (concerning beverages)

WAITER: Can I get you folks anything to drink?
ME: Just a coffee.
WAITER: Would you like an espresso, cappuccino, latte?
ME: Just a coffee.
WAITER: And would you like a regular coffee an or iced coffee?
ME: Just a coffee.

MORAL OF THE STORY : I MIGHT BE A DICK, BUT SALESMEN ARE DUMMIES.

also:

I saw a lovely couple on the subway today, they were white, toothless, mid 50's and also they were VERY OBVIOUSLY junkies. Taking that into consideration, I laughed A LOT when I heard 'mrs. junkie' say:

"UGH! WHY DID YOU GET SPRITE!? I CAN'T DRINK THIS!"

Finally proving my theory, 'aging junkies looking back on their days of boozing and killing spend their days eating garbage and still think Sprite is an inferior soft drink experience.'

LASTLY, here's a picture of me being mauled by a very nice dog:

MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE

Dude... Is anyone else, like, basically certain that the only reason Jon Voight is in the new Transformers movie is to make sure that Angelina Jolie's kids won't see the film? I guess if you can't spoil the kids, the least you can do is strong-arm their parents into depriving them the simple joys of robots in disguise.

Look on the bright side, Shakira... There's always Voltron.

Oh yeah....

I can't get interested in sports, but this clip of David Letterman's original 1980's talk show makes me go "YEAAAAAAAAH!". Check out the old new york / split screen intro. It's like getting a really good massage from Bill Murray.

??????????

While we're on the subject....

"Could the reporter read back the witness' statement please?"

"yes, 'I plead the fifth, 'nuff said'."




Never meet your heroes, true believers!

WOW.

I have not even watched this yet, but, just IN THEORY, I have decided it is amazing.

Done.

I DO THIS FOR THE CHILDREN

Alright Instant Talk Show fan/s, it's time to take off the kid gloves, and open up a HOT NEW/BUTTON/CONTROVERSIAL TOPIC for discussion.

Incisor: The One True Tooth? Or just this year's canine?

DISCUSS/WHO CARES.

R.I.P O.D.B