...and I'm still writing "Convicted Felon" on my checks!!!!

Happy New Year all.
Thanks for all the support in 07. Talk to ya reeeeeeal soon.

Nick & ITS co.

Cameltoe.

I mean CAMEO! CAMEO!

New Episodes.

We have them.
You watch them.
Hooray.

Happy.

Press = You and I both know who controls the Instant Media....

Hi there,

We have been "written" about. We are in the "mainstream". We are "blowing up".

CHECK OUT HEEB MAGAZINE'S 100 CHOSEN LIST



Although The Heeb 100 list is not numbered, I have to say if it were I strongly believe we would be in AT LEAST the top 80. Eat that, nosy neighbor from Family Ties.

Guy who plays Eko = My new hero

When I started watching season 2 of Lost, I said, "That young, some sort of African man who plays Mr. Eko, there's a solid actor who is some sort of African."



Then Today, I'm youtubin' it up, and guess what cats? My man is from LONDON, ENGLAND. That makes me not only somewhat racist, but VERY IMPRESSED by his acting. BOOM! Check it:


(possible season 2 spoilers, but what do you care, aren't you on season 4?)

"Microcosm" or "Woman in hat dislikes movie, is for some reason allowed to voice opinion."

It should also be noted that QT's "talking over" skills are among the best I've ever seen!

NS

Lost is to Heroin as Wolverine is to ________?

Last night I couldn't watch Lost. I found this instead.


-NS

p.s. I also host a talk show. Have I mentioned this, here at the Instant Talk Show blog? More on that verrrry soon.

I DO NOT KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS.

A FURTHER Explaination....

Yes, I wrote a post in jest about how I was not getting anything done because of my interest in the show Lost. This fantasy, however, has now become a reality. Yes, it seems the Lost-ER has become the Lost-ee. The situation is nothing short of dire. I am not sleeping or eating. In an ironic and unpredictable twist, my obsession with Lost and my sympathetic nature have put me in the position of a castaway. I am not showering. My stubble has become much more sexy. My quips even more clever. I am looking to the mysterious nature of the most mundane things - for example, the ultra destructive cloud of black smoke that patrols my apartment now seems like a world of unanswered questions. The eccentric band of hairy filthy people who live with me and don't know how they got there - I wonder what THEIR stories are. All of this leads me to one conclusion: Until Lost's end in 2010, I will be focused on nothing other than getting us off this island. DO YOU HEAR ME!? IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS! I DID EVERYTHING YOU ASKED!

-NS

p.s. Next week I get my Punky Brewster DVD boxset in the mail! I hope it doesn't make me get a boob job! Another Boob job!

An explaination:

Some of you may be wondering why we haven't been up to date on our witty comments here at the Instant blog. So first off, let me say:

YOU"RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME! OKAY DADDY!? GOD! WHAT AM I, YOUR SLAVE!? YOUR FUNNY MONKEY SLAAAAVE?!

More to the point, there is a specific and reasonable answer to why we have not been blogging. No, we're not on a break for the summer, no we're not backpacking through Amsterdam. The answer is simple:





I have been watching the first season of Lost, and there's really nothing else I can do. I am powerless against it's grip over me. Apologies. I will check back with you all after I find out what the monster looks like or if the Korean dude can speak English.

NS

Cocktail.

Ethan Haas IS wrong....

Allen Cordell: Sup?

Nick Scoullar: Nothing, I'm tired!

Allen Cordell: Uh huh. What are you doing tonight?

Nick Scoullar: I don't even know! Faryl said we have plans, but she won't tell me what they are.

Allen Cordell: She's totally 1-18-08ing you.

If it pleases the court....

May I present exhibit A in the case of
"Haircuts and Clothes don't matter
v.
Reality"

So...

obviously we haven't been posting to observe Paris Hilton's time incarcerated and how she, HERSELF, could not blog during this time. Now things will be back to normal.

also:

I don't, at all, care about Paris Hilton.

THERE'S FUNNY, AND THEN THERE'S THIS

Before I saw this, there was a picture I had taken when I was still a member of the X Men on my desktop. In the picture, I was kicking the ass of the entire Third Reich, while arm wrestling a tryranosaurus and shaking hands with JFK. But that was before I saw this. It all seems so distant now...

THE SYSTEM WORKS!

Paris Hilton was released from jail today. I'm really heartbroken. I think if she had at least served 6 days of her sentence in a minimum security cell she would have been totally transformed into a thoughtful person of depth and character.

OH PICKLES!



THE MORAL OF THE STORY: Sarah Silverman and Paris Hilton are both women I've had sexual fantasies about, the only difference between them being one is INTENTIONALLY funny.

Actual conversations from this week (concerning beverages)

WAITER: Can I get you folks anything to drink?
ME: Just a coffee.
WAITER: Would you like an espresso, cappuccino, latte?
ME: Just a coffee.
WAITER: And would you like a regular coffee an or iced coffee?
ME: Just a coffee.

MORAL OF THE STORY : I MIGHT BE A DICK, BUT SALESMEN ARE DUMMIES.

also:

I saw a lovely couple on the subway today, they were white, toothless, mid 50's and also they were VERY OBVIOUSLY junkies. Taking that into consideration, I laughed A LOT when I heard 'mrs. junkie' say:

"UGH! WHY DID YOU GET SPRITE!? I CAN'T DRINK THIS!"

Finally proving my theory, 'aging junkies looking back on their days of boozing and killing spend their days eating garbage and still think Sprite is an inferior soft drink experience.'

LASTLY, here's a picture of me being mauled by a very nice dog:

MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE

Dude... Is anyone else, like, basically certain that the only reason Jon Voight is in the new Transformers movie is to make sure that Angelina Jolie's kids won't see the film? I guess if you can't spoil the kids, the least you can do is strong-arm their parents into depriving them the simple joys of robots in disguise.

Look on the bright side, Shakira... There's always Voltron.

Oh yeah....

I can't get interested in sports, but this clip of David Letterman's original 1980's talk show makes me go "YEAAAAAAAAH!". Check out the old new york / split screen intro. It's like getting a really good massage from Bill Murray.